Spring 2005 - Kirtlington

Carelessly organising the spring fixture during the Easter holiday, saw a depleted field of only 26 OGRES striding the lush, green and very wet fairways of Kirtlington. From my vantage point in our warm offices, I could see glimmers of watery sun breaking through the menacing black clouds, only to be followed by sharp showers of rain and hail, driven in by a vicious north wind. As I supped my warm coffee, I felt for these brave souls.

Out of this adversity came a new hero, Jerry (trust me) May. Ably supported by his mysterious Meninblack team from over the hills (Chinnor), he scored a magnificent 38 to wrench the coveted claret jug from Ron (tin god) Peet who slumped to 29. Without his lucky day-glow Pringle sweater, Ron seemed a broken man. There was also talk that the lack of a super-size snickers had also taken its toll. Still, he regained strength after his double helping of sticky toffee pud and vowed revenge on the young pretender.

The new chief OGRE Jerry May

Despite having the new champ on their team, the Meninblack could not lift the team prize, which was taken by Thomas (that's a gimme) Merrifield on countback, making up for their disappointment at losing last year. Damien (where's the buggy's?) Leahy had stripped down his lager trolley and played the whole round with his putter. The spare space was taken with cheap cider, which did the trick (it's difficult to count over five when you're pissed!).

Damien weeps with joy and at winning the team prize

The Merrifield boys also sprung the surprise of the day when Guy (ex-SAS) Glover grabbed the coveted nearest the pin prize. He aimed for a nearby tree thinking it was 'nearest the pine' and fluked a fine shot (or did he just have a hole in his pocket?).

David Blomley & Guy Glover licking their lips after a good helping of sticky toffee pud

(PS are fake tans in?)

The absence of Mike (bully boy) Barker gave everybody a chance at the longest drive, which was taken by Tom (the bandit?) Barton who also came close to the individual prize with a fine 37.

David Blomley presents Tom Barton with the longest drive trophy through gritted teeth

Last, but not least, Ian (duck!) Cassertari stormed home with the most golf prize, just cracking double figures with a brave 11.

Special Mentions to:

Gareth (f)Alty for a fine 37.

Damian (lager) Leahy and Richard (that's another gimme) Pickford for solid 36's.

Special Thanks to:

Martin (I am a vegetarian) Wells for giving me his spare chicken breast.

David Blomley for his red cheeks.

Blomley puts in practice as compere                            Tense moments as the scores are added

Kirtlington - for a good day - especially the sticky toffee pud!

We hope to do it all again later this year (early July) so please e-mail with suggestions for the next venue and spread the word - the more players the better. I might even turn out next time!

Richard

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